Loser’s Game

Short Story ©advbimal

MAX_0430 losers

In every love story there is something to cherish. Something to remember. Something to forget. Something to forgive. But this story had nothing or anything of that kind. We loved. Exchanged letters, photos and many more.

She was a friend of my relative. So I knew her from when she was young. She used to come to my house to pick up books for reading.

We were together in the music class and we both had Hero cycles so we were roaming around quite extensively. We had sex when we were 13 or 14, if you can call so experiments at that age. That was before we became the so called lovers. Probably, that was one of the reasons why we “decided” to love eachother later.

She became a teacher in the college near my home town and I used to pick her up in my motorbike from her college. Eventhough our tastes were different I felt as one of the heroes from the stories I have read or the songs I heard.

One day after the college time she was still sitting alone in the class. I finally found her. I thought that was the perfect place to propose to her and I did. For some time that empty classroom become our bedroom. Before dropping her at home I asked her “can I consider your silence as yes”. She smiled. That was the day I last spoke to her. That was the time I saw her last.

Two days later her brother came to my house with a book to return and an envelope which he gave to me. While I was holding it he turned and walked away. I never opened that envelope. That was an invitation to her wedding. It was a shock even though this was inevitable. For some time there was a scar inside me not because of what she did but how she dealt with it. That relationship came to an end before completing two years or so. I hadn’t considered the right or wrong of what I did at that time, I burned all the books that I had.

Later one day while I was sipping white mocha at Starbucks with Paru, I told her about this and she said, “sometimes losing a game is far better, for various reasons, than merely winning it.” I looked outside through the glass panels. It was raining and I was happy inside. I looked at Paru, she was smiling as if she could read my mind. I took a slice of cheese cake and gave to her. When you feel that your friend understands you, you see even more how beautiful she is.


Clouds In My Coffee

Train adv

A rainy Friday late night. We were together and the music was at its best. She tried to lift her face up and said “rain and music are a deadly combination”. “You are a thunderstorm and me?”, she asked after a pause. I dint answer. I told myself, all stories have an end and so do the rain and music too. Reading my mind she said some stories are unending and then laughed. I tried to laugh out to hide my face.

Next day when we met she didn’t talk much. Neither did I. But I thought I will ask her three things. A cup of coffee together, a yes to click her eyes and a hug before her train leaves.

Whenever I ordered coffee she vanished. Finally when I saw her through viewfinder, there were drops of tears in her eyes and they were boiling like silver. I felt sad for her, so I thought better not to click.

Her train was about to leave at any moment and we stood like strangers. When the train slowly started to move she hugged her friends and hurried into the crowd in the train. I felt like a huge wave swallowing me. I don’t know why I looked to oppsite direction and searched for Paru. When I reached home she was waiting for me there.




Monologue  ©advbimal

Rama’s thoughts before meeting his mother and his wife Sita devi to inform them that he is going to exile in the forest for 14 years the very same day.

It’s festive spirit in Ayodhya today. People are waiting for me, Rama, the apple of their eyes, to be crowned as their king in a few moments.

How can they know that instead of Rama it is  Bharatha who will be crowned as a king today.

Why do I need the kingdom? The forest is far better than the land. Let Bharatha rule the kingdom and i shall rule the forest.

For my Father I am ready to forsake not just the kingdom but anything. My Father is everything for me. If my father desires, I am ready to leave even my Mother, even Sita, if necessary. That’s how much my Father means to me!

It was Kaikei Ma who told me that I have to relinquish the throne for Bharatha and I have to go to exile for 14 years today itself. But if my Father desired to make Bharatha the king, why couldn’t He tell me directly? Did He think that I would be saddened or did He assume that I would not agree to it?

A true son is the son who joyfully fulfills all his Father’s wishes without being told about them.

Doesn’t he know his son very well. Who could understand this Rama better than my father?!

Anyway, I am really worried about my Father’s health. What is happening to Him? Kaikei Ma is dear to me but is this the way to treat my Father? If she wanted to make Bharatha the King, she needed just to mention that to me and I would have happily agreed.

What happened to my Kaikei Ma who was eagerly waiting for my coronation?

Today morning she was so different.
Have you seen the seriousness on her face.  Have you notice the change in her voice?

Or is Kaikei Ma sending me to exile because she loves me very much.

Whatever it is, I wish she would take a good care of my Father even when I am gone. I couldn’t bear the sight of my unconscious Father. My heart pains when I think about my Father.

Laxman, O Laxman, why are you muttering in anger? Aren’t you done crying? Isn’t Bharatha your elder brother just like me? You should be as happy as I am that Bharatha is becoming the King of Ayothya.

I don’t know how to face my mother. How can I tell my Mother who is counting every moment till my coronation that it’s not me but Bharatha who will become the King. Wouldn’t her heart be crushed? How can I tell my Mother that I am leaving Ayodhya today to live 14 years in exile.

After seeing my Father’s condition, will I have to witness my Mother collapsing ? I can already foresee how heartbroken she is going to be thinking about me.

How can I console my mother, what can i say to make her understand?  The brave warrior Rama, Is your courage draining out?

Oh, my Seeta Devi, my beloved, I have to bid farewell to you too. Can you feel the trepidation in my chest? You are a courageous woman and you will be able to understand me.

You know that I am bound to fulfill my Father’s wishes whatever they are, my Seeta Devi.

I know more than anybody else how much you are concern about me and I dont know how to console you. How can I prevent your trying to stop me from going to exile.

Oh Almighty, you are the one who decides and execute the destiny, please give me strength!

Today I am abandoning all that is dear to me, kingdom, parents, wife, this palace, friends. All. Oh, God, give me more will power.

I am the son of Dasharata, I am Rama. I will not be defeated by any weakness and nothing can  prevent me from my decisions. My Father is above everything for me in this Universe. For him I am ready to bid farewell to my Mother and my wife.

No force can withhold me, no words can dissuade me, no tears can stop me. I am prepared to face anything, I am ready to face my Mother.

Laxman, I am going to my Mother’s palace.


Short Story ©advbimal


I was on the ventilator and aware of the day and time when they were going to switch it off. I was in a mood of losing and giving up. She comes to my side and holds my hand and says  “See, I feel you have only two more days, you should just get done with it”. I saw her golden wheat coloured hair flowing in the air. I could sense her smell and I could feel her breath. I thought, let them switch it off as I overheard. I am gonna fight. Everything went as the destiny has planned.

But the next day when I came out of the darkness and opened my eyes, Paru was there and she was smiling. I was resurrected.